Tuesday Tech Talk:Marriage, Annulments and Divorce

I don't profess to be an expert on the Church's annulment procedures, but I can speak from first-hand experience about how difficult the annulment process can be. Yesterday, Stacey and I celebrated the seventh anniversary of the day our marriage was officially convalidated by the Church. It is a special day for us, because it also marks the anniversary of Stacey's full admission into the Catholic Church; she received the sacraments of the Eucharist and Confirmation at our ceremony.

As I was reflecting on the years since we both came into full communion with the Church, it occurred to me that one of the biggest hurdles for people returning or staying in the Church are issues surrounding current and past marriages. All you have to do is listen to a session on Catholic Answers open lines to hear a majority of calls on marriage, annulments and divorce. I feel for these people because I know how much they want to conform to the teachings of the Church and how challenging it can be.

Some have criticized U.S. Catholics as using annulments as a form of Catholic sanctioned divorce. This may be the case with some, but I don't think the majority of people fall into this category. Instead, I believe many are the victims of years of poor catechises and inadequate marriage prep. I myself am a cradle Catholic. I didn't know until a deacon told me, although Stacey wasn't Catholic, that her previous marriage was an impediment to us getting married. Unfortunately, no one told me (and I didn't ask) that before we got married by the county. This of course complicated matters.

The Church leadership is taking strides to remedy some of this. The USCCB has recently developed For Your Marriage, dedicated to promoting marriage formation. This is important because marriage is not only a sacrament, but it is also a vocation for which one is called. The site is a comprehensive resource for those getting married, already married or getting married for the second time. It also includes resources on parenting, natural family planning and provides helpful tips for strengthening the marriage bond.

In a time when traditionally marriage is under attack, we need to begin by taking care of our own household. What I mean by that is how can anyone take us seriously when Catholics are divorcing at similar rates as non-Catholics? This is not any different than any other form of evangelization. Other people have got to see a difference in us. We need to stand out for our caring, loving and fortified marriages.

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World Marriage Day