Lord, Teach Us to Pray

Since the early days of Christianity men have asked, “Teach us to pray.” (Luke 11:1) The purpose of this article is to set out some basic guidelines to help you begin a regiment of daily prayer. This will not be an exhaustive examination of the various forms of prayer, but rather a primer to either get you started or redirected in your daily prayer. I will write a future piece on the of types of prayer, but for now I will focus simply on personal prayer.

Why Pray?
Sometimes I hear men say, “I don’t pray, but I have a personal relationship with Christ.” How many strong relationships do you know where people don’t talk to each other? None. The same is true with our relationship with God and our prayer life. He wants to have a personal and intimate relationship with each and every one of us. Hearken back to when you first started dating your wife. You spent all the time you could with her, wanting to get to know her. You wrote love letters and talked on the phone for hours (Today, I'm sure it's tweeting, texting, IM'ing and chatting). This is precisely the type of intimacy that God wants with us. The way we achieve this is in conversation. Our conversation with God is prayer.

Fifteen Minutes
Based on the reading I have done, most spiritual directors recommend at least fifteen minutes of personal prayer a day. This was the case whether the priest was a Dominican, Franciscan, or Jesuit. There is nothing particularly special about 15 minutes; it is simply a reasonable amount of time to begin your personal prayer.

Make an Appointment with God
Conveniently most calendar planners and calendar applications break our days into fifteen or thirty minute increments. The first thing we should do is choose a time to pray. This should be a definite time dedicated only to prayer. I recommend scheduling it on your calendar; make an appointment with God. You need to decide what is the best time for prayer that you can find. For some (probably most) this will me first thing in the morning, before getting ready for the day. For others, it may mean arriving to work early, closing the door and praying. Still another may set aside time during lunch or before going to bed. Choosing the best time is just that – a personal choice. The important thing is to stick to that same time daily.

Pick a Prayer Place
Next, you should choose a place to pray. It should be one free of distractions and one that you know you can use daily. I have a friend who has turned a spare bedroom into her prayer room. Your place to pray may be the office or even your own den or breakfast nook when everyone else is still asleep. In theory, it could even be “the man cave.” Again, the choice is personal. What is most important is that you can consistently pray there without distractions.

A-C-T-S
Years ago a friend of mine, who teaches RCIA, taught me an easy acronym to help in praying: A-C-T-S. We begin with ADORATION. We spend time praising God. We need to get comfortable with this notion. Praising God is not limited to Pentecostal Protestants. Whether we know it or not, we already praise Him when we participate in mass and say “alleluia,” which means praise God. At the conclusion of the gospel reading we proclaim, “praise to you Lord Jesus Christ.” Next is CONTRITION, which means we are sorry. We spend time in prayer telling God we are sorry for offenses against Him and others. During this time, we reflect on areas in which we may have fallen short and surrender them to Him. We follow this with THANKSGIVING. We thank the Lord for all we have, for all He has given us. This may even mean praying for the challenges we are facing, praying to use those as opportunities to grow closer to Him. We conclude with SUPPLICATION, which is a fancy word for asking God for stuff. We shouldn’t be afraid to ask Him because nothing is too small or big to ask. The gospel tells us, “Ask and it will be given to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

We Must Also Listen
There is still a last part to prayer. It’s not part of ACTS, but it is vital. The one final part is L – listen. We men have trouble with this one. Like any other form of communication, prayer is a two-way street. Often when talking to our wives, she wants us to listen to her and we are off trying to figure out how to solve whatever problem she’s presenting. It’s the same challenge when we talk to God; we want to do all the talking but we also have to learn to listen. This is such a tough one, that I believe I will devote another post to just hearing and responding to God.

But I Can’t Pray
But you’re saying, I don’t know if I can do this. I can’t pray. Saint Josemaria said, “You say you do not know how to pray. Put yourself in the presence of God, and once you have said, 'Lord, I don't know how to pray!' rest assured that you have begun to do so.” (The Way, #90)

Happy praying. While you’re at it, pray for me, for those who read this blog and the men of Joe Catholic. God’s grace be with you all.